I've always been a reader, but lately my appetite for it seems to be voracious. I've been reading 2-3 books per month, listening to podcasts as I walk around this new city of mine & have a stack of photography books waiting for me to give entire days to studying & getting lost in the street photography of the past. Much in the same way I've been craving knowledge, I've been seeking connection.
There's something freeing about knowing 4 people out of 2.3 million in a new city. While some may say its an opportunity to start over, reinvent yourself and start fresh, it feels more like an opportunity to be genuine. To show up as myself, to bare my heart, to find my words and the people I want to create with and learn from. Fear comes up a lot for me in all of this - in weird ways & the conventional - but asking myself "what's the worst that can happen?" has led me right back to jumping off the ledge, knowing my net will appear. It always has.
On January 1 of this year, I sent a few people I admire on instagram direct messages. It's incredibly freeing to know the worst that can happen is an absolute stranger tells a friend "I got a message from some super weird chick from Saskatchewan..." and everyone goes on with their lives. But the worst never happened. I heard back from every person I reached out to.
I showed up to these coffee dates and gave them my broken sentences, my partial ideas & laughed my way through the fact that I just wanted to get out and create with them about what they are doing. I didn't have a fully formed plan, and truthfully, I still don't entirely know what I want to do with these pictures or how I'm going to tell the story. I'm still trying to piece together what this is all going to look like, but like everything around me, it seems to be connecting in ways that aren't 100% clear to me and yet, 100% aligned. I see flashes of what its going to be, have weird deja-vu moments where I think "wait what? I just had this conversation yesterday with someone / I just read about that in one of my books ...." and patiently wait to get out of my own way. Every single one of these meetings has added to the idea and given it more life. Most importantly, every single one of these people I met with have been genuine in their connection & people I want to surround myself with.
From a random email that started with "2018 has me feeling bold ...." a new passion (& tag line) was born: showcasing the creatives, the makers + the helpers who are making our communities + world a beautiful place. I need to remind myself that the world is full of good, connection is real and people are changing lives with their work, from their heart centers. I want to celebrate the people who are living a life worth living, who show up everyday full of passion for what they're creating and despite all the turmoil, struggles and set backs that happen when you pursue something wholeheartedly, they rise.
Looking back and having these moments makes me realize its all connected - where I've been, what I've done, what I've been reading, and the people I'm meeting. Something is happening, the sparks are flying, and yet, all I can do is hold on. I have no idea where its going, & I couldn't be more excited for the ride.